Monday, August 3, 2009

Have They Ever Heard of the Internet

Soon to be released on Nintendo Wii:

It's poker, only sexier!

Sexy Poker brings you an entirely new set of unique and sexy women that radiate personality and fun, inspired by famous celebrity sex symbols and today’s hottest sources of sexy content. Unlike other games on the market that offer only one woman, Sexy Poker offers high-quality images of six incredibly alluring women for six times the value and game length. These girls are so confident, they'll bet all their clothes on this game!

  • Offers high-quality images of six incredibly alluring women.
  • 3 game modes: 5-card draw poker, video poker, and blackjack.
  • Photo gallery, so you can quickly access all of the images you've unlocked
This raises a metric buttload of questions. The first of which is, "how did this get approved by Nintendo?". A press release reveals the truth:


Platform: Wii

Rating: M for Mature

Content descriptors: Simulated Gambling, Suggestive Themes

Rating Summary: This is a Strip Poker game in which players engage in games of Black Jack and Poker against female avatar opponents. The object of the game is to win hands in order to remove articles of clothing from still images of the female characters. Nurses, police women, office workers, and sports figures can eventually be stripped down to show their lingerie. The female opponents encourage the player with provocative comments such as, "Perhaps you could be my business partner...for tonight at least?" and, "If you impress me, I might give you my special treatment."

Aha! There's no nudity at all! Which makes only more pertinent my second question: WHO IS GOING TO BUY THIS GAME?

If I wanted to see an office worker or sports figure in her lingerie (or less), I think I could manage without having to spend money and win at poker. Ah well, even if I wanted to, it's been banned in Australia.